I had high hopes this year but sometimes the bad guy wins. In life there isn’t always a happy ending. Sometimes the story lines that stick with us the most are the ones where things don’t go the way we want them to. The lessons that can be gained from not getting what you want can be powerful.

It’s funny that Trump’s favorite song to play at his rally’s and now his “thank you tour” is a great classic by The Rolling Stones. “You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometimes you get what you need.” This song was brought to my attention when I was reading a great motivational book years ago called “Divine Intuition.” I never thought I’d be hearing it over and over again to introduce someone who could not be any farther from having a divine intuition.

But that really captures the essence of Trump; nothing is as it seems. Lies, lies and more lies to make up for the earlier ones. He shows a total lack of accountability, maturity, honesty, empathy, intellect, responsibility, or kindness. A moronic, sexist bully is going to be our president like it or not.

So yes, we hope the story will end in peace and happiness, and yet when it does not go that way, when it ends in sorrow we are ultimately not surprised because that is an outcome we are familiar with. Life is suffering. This is at the core of buddhism. And not just sometimes but at it’s core life as we know it is ultimately a struggle.

Some like myself are more willing to say it than others. I try to honor my shadow because I can’t help but be what I feel. If I feel something that is troubling it is difficult for me to not be in it, to revel in it a little bit in an attempt to understand it. I will never be able to overcome my own suffering if I don’t understand it’s reasons and I can’t understand the reasons if I don’t admit to the suffering in the first place. You have to be honest with yourself. Sometimes its ok to feel like life sucks because sometimes it does.

Life as we know it can be difficult, harsh at times. It’s been that way for us for a long time. Deep down we are used to it and actually in modern times, it’s easier than it was in previous lives. After all how bad can a Trump America be compared to the French Revolution or communist Russia?

We are living on a thin line between love and hate. There is an anger and tension in the air. It has been layering for a long time, hundreds of years, thousands of years of strife and struggle. And it all seems to be coming back around, circling back to us and beginning to take shape before us.

I was heart broken the night Donald Trump became the future President of the United States. Ultimately it wasn’t the literal fact that this person had just attained the highest office in the land. It was because of what it said about where we are in terms of our evolution toward inclusiveness and love, truth and understanding. For people that believed we were moving forward, that we’d turned a corner, November 9 was a crushing blow and a huge surprise. We were innocent and naive enough to believe that we were now living in a world where fear, greed, and lies would no longer win. We were wrong.

We woke up Wednesday morning with a powerful message, “there is more work to be done.” We aren’t there yet. We continue to struggle with fighting the past and shaking off our constant disappointment that we just aren’t there yet. “There” being a new age, a society of love, freedom, connection, learning and acceptance. However, we have to remember this is still our destination at the end of this long journey. We may have lost the battle but we will win the war.

The call that there is more work to be done is discouraging at first but then you realize fighting for a purpose is one of the greatest experiences as a human. This is a fight worth fighting and the light will always win, the truth will always win in the end, love will always win. It just takes time. Ultimately buddhism is not a hopeless religion, it’s a beautiful religion that honors that we must take on our suffering, we must work to reap what we deem important, and ultimately unconditional love will end our human suffering.

Nothing just happens. We have to create it. We have to be the spark of fire on a dark cold night. It comes from us, from our intention, from our desire, our passion, our intestinal fortitude, our sadness. The time to sit by idly has ended. You must pay attention. Be aware of the times. This is our world, we can’t expect it to be the way we want it if we pay no mind to it. The country, the planet is demanding our attention. Care about what is happening because it is important.

Speak your truth because whatever you have to say needs to be said. Put it out there, say what you feel, be what you feel. Contribute to creation in these troubling times. The world needs you. We will get through this and we will get where we are going eventually. We are going to a higher place, a higher life.

Life on Earth is endlessly filled with curve balls, changes of direction, retrogrades. Life on earth is just never as easy as we’d like it to be. But all we can do is shake our heads and laugh. Because we know, while we may not always want to, we have the power to overcome anything. This too shall pass and one day long from now, I’ll look out at a beautiful pink sunset and remember the sadness I felt when I thought hope was lost on a Tuesday night in 2016.
Hope is never really lost. It can be lost in a moment but not in a lifetime. There is always hope.

The time has come. The time has come to speak up.The time has come to fight back. The time has come to love. The time has come to be true. The time has come to feel what you feel. The time has come to trust in the universe. Everything happens for a reason. Trust in this and hope for a better tomorrow.

One of the most magical things about cannabis plants is their crystals. They glisten and shine like little diamonds, like snowflakes, like lights on a Christmas tree. Cannabis plants are decorated with their own Christmas lights provided by mother nature. It is a beautiful thing to behold.

Winter is coming again. The nights grow longer and the holidays are near. I always thought myself lucky to be born one week before Christmas Day. That time of year had layers of celebration for me as a child. I definitely fall into the category of a spoiled millennial. Although I consider myself to be in the first wave of millennials for whom the ground is more solid.

Personally my life has been anything but ideal. To say my life is not what I expected is an understatement. But in so many ways it is better than what I expected too. It falls into the category of,“You can’t always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need.” Our generation cares a lot about what we want and when it comes to what we need we aren’t quite as intrigued.

Yet in my life it is when I embraced circumstances that I didn’t think I “wanted” that I ended up gaining more than I ever expected. On the contrary when I’ve gotten things I’ve wanted in life I’m never left satisfied. As sure as you are that your thirst will be quenched once you achieve some goal or obtain some possession, it’s never quite enough, the pull of wanting catches you, and you are again lost in a downward spiral of craving. Never is this maddening cycle more evident than around the holidays.

We are inundated with decorations and commercials, overindulgence and excess. Encouraged to want more, to eat more, to drink more. This is a short version of what we refer to as “the holidays”. Ultimately we end up needing a holiday from the holidays. There is a lot of emphasis on consuming and receiving. Frequent questions in the month of December fall along the lines of, “What do you want for Chistmas?” “Hey what did you get for Christmas?”

What can we get and how much can we consume pretty much sums up the holiday season. This is our chosen method for celebrating the end of our years on this often troubling planet. We kiss the year goodbye by indulging in our worst habits. It seems to be a time of year when it is more evident than ever that maybe our way of life is missing the mark when it comes to true joy and happiness.

Despite my joy as a child in receiving gifts and eating lavishly, as an adult I’ve been a victim of the holiday blues. Year after year I struggle to walk away from Christmas feeling a real sense of joy. And each year I ask what went wrong? I wonder how I spent another Christmas day stuck in disappointment. Maybe it’s because I have yet to realize and accept the fact that Christmas is not about my happiness, its about other people’s happiness. It’s not about what gift I did or didn’t get, it’s about what I give to others and not just on Christmas day but everyday.

It seems that many of us have neglected the spirit of giving. What if the emphasis was truly on what we can do for someone else? A celebration of love to end the year could be giving back to others. This may sound cliche or you may say “wait that’s what Christmas is already about.” But it seems rare that we truly give to others without an expectation of something in return. Giving back isn’t buying them socks, perfume, gadgets, slippers or toys but by giving them you, your undying love and presence, your ear, your words, your truth, your helping hand, your advice, your acceptance, your admiration. The years go by so fast, faster all the time. As we complete one after another, each presenting it’s new challenges, the hope is that we come closer to our true selves, closer to our heart centers. Closer to a place of giving rather than receiving and giving without any expectation that it will be returned. That is unconditional love and that’s what Christmas is about.

An iconic image of the Christmas season is of course the tradition of decorating a Christmas tree. We all bring a tree in our home for a month and allow it to grace our living rooms and peacefully watch over our holiday festivities. For me, one of the best images of the heart center and unconditional love is a tree. Trees have a lot to teach us about selflessness. For trees life is not about wanting more and more or me, me, me. Life for trees is about giving. They have no ego, they live a life of unity, interconnectedness and sacrifice.

Of course one of the most important trees in my life is cannabis. The cannabis plant exemplifies the spirit of giving more than any plant. The ways in which this plant gives back are numerous. One single plant may reach hundreds of people. The power, sacrifice and ability of these plants to bring healing energy to human beings is unprecedented. Its merits are becoming an undeniable fact to the majority of the population. With all the division in this country this year one thing is clear, cannabis is turning the map green. This magical plant offers so many people with the opportunity for healing, for softening for understanding and connecting. Fortunately, it is becoming accessible to millions of people across the country especially because it appears now we may need it’s guidance more than ever.

We can’t always get what we want, sometimes your family can’t afford the newest iPhone or Beats headphones. But sometimes we get what we need and what we need now in our country is healing, understanding and above all unconditional love. Unconditional love can only flow form our heart centers. Christmas trees and cannabis silently remind us to stay centered and love unconditionally. That is the greatest gift you can give to those around you.

Here I am a Christmas baby who has always disappointed by the holidays. The holidays tend to remind me of all I’ve lost and now at 30 years old with a son of my own, the time has come to not focus on me, me, me and all I’ve suffered. The time has come to focus on the future, on all I’ve gained, on all I have to give, all that I want to give back to the world, to my country, to my community, to my family, to my son.

Cannabis reminds me “it’s not about you, it’s about giving love and service to the people that surround you and the planet you live on.” The plants whisper, “everything will be ok, the undying thread of love is ever present.” They ease my fears. “Be merry” they sing for there is so much to be grateful for, so much ahead of us that will shock and inspire us. I’m so glad they are along for the ride. May we all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.