Monthly Archives: September 2018

Goddess in flow

She is a blaze of fire, she is enigmatic, bright, warm and sexy, she pulls you in, it is difficult to look away. But would you want to anyway? For the first time in a long time, you feel alive, you remember the source, the life force, the goddess.

Inside she is the ocean, frightening depths, vast, expansive reaching waters, infinity is in her feelings, her emotions know no end. She weeps, whaling, visceral cries, the tears stream down her cheeks because she knows suffering better than any. She is suffering, she is your suffering, she is her own suffering, everyone’s pain is real to her, every story is valid and must be heard, every soul worthy of her love and compassion. 

She has been frozen, stuck, imprisoned, repressed for a very long time but the time for change, for balance, has come and the ice is melting away, her mobility and strength are returning and that wild fire she burns, that burns deep in her soul is burning through the ice that has frozen her, burning through the hands that held her down, held her back because they feared her, they feared her magic would destroy them. Her moment of glory, redemption and salvation await.

The goddess has many faces. Some might accuse her of wearing masks. But a mask implies a lack of ingenuity. That is not the case. She is genuine, she is real in every role she plays. She must play many, that is what the world demands of her, that is her service and she serves well. 

She is asked to do many things and she puts pressure on herself too because she knows how strong she is. She knows she is capable of doing it all. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy, its rarely easy, and that doesn’t mean she always wants to, she’d often rather be doing something else.

She does what she’s asked, she does what she’s been told and she does it while smiling otherwise she’ll receive condemnation. But the time has come for her to shift the tides and reign in the power that she has always been blessed with. The time has come for her to free herself from the chains that have bound her for centuries. Her grace is the light that will shine and awaken the world. When she is bound up, everyone suffers. To see her is to be blessed, to be touched by magic. 

She bears the weight of heavy eyes upon her all the time. Eyes seeking only for their own benefit, their own gain, steal from her glimmers of beauty, glimmers of hope. Cause while she kills herself trying to do it all, the sparkle in her eye still saves lives, gives someone a reason to go on another day. 

She’s ok with that, she’s thrilled with that, that is actually what she lives for, the hope that her existence made even one soul feel better, feel loved. Then she has served, then she has accomplished what she ultimately seeks and tomorrow is another day and she’ll do it all over again. 

They’ll never really understand her, the men, the boys, the children, they may see her, they may want her but they never really get her. She is a great mystery, an enigma, an ever changing image of beauty and flow. But whether they understand her, whether they appreciate her doesn’t necessarily matter. They still love her and she them but she waits for the day that they’ll give her the respect she truly deserves. 

She has lived many lives. People left in her past forever, only in her memories, only in her dreams. She has changed and yet she is the same at her core, the little girl inside who feels unworthy of love reacts as the scenes of today play out. She must grow up, change, let go and realize that love is her birth right, she is love, she is a channel for love, a vessel for the source and it is her purpose to stop worrying about the love she didn’t get, the love she never had and give it freely to everyone in her orbit. 

She is the embodiment of raw, organic beauty, sensuality, sexual energy, the creative life force is her special province. She is the mother, the daughter, the sister, the princess, the queen, the bitch, the whore. Whoever she is, wherever she is, she is beautiful, she is primal, she is mystical. She walks the moonlit path always seeking more. Always striving, longing and dreaming of a world where unconditional love is not a rare occurrence. She dreams of a world where the love fills the air and hangs in the ether like a veil of rose colored mist. 

And yet as the world stands today, perpetual heartbreak is her common state. There is so much suffering, too much suffering, abuse of power, abuse of the goddess, injustice and tragedy. The great mother weeps as her children struggle below, day after day, century after century, chapter after chapter.

When will the power of truth and love rule again? She wonders and wonderland is ok for moments here and there but for the rest of the time she must fight, she must focus. She must carry on and remind everyone along the way that everything is going to be ok. She is a warrior, a warrior for peace, for justice and equality, a warrior for love, creativity and passion. She is a warrior goddess in flow. 

The tears flow down her cheeks, the blood out of her body, the love out of her heart, her hair in the wind, her soul into creation. She must flow, she must be in flow, in her own flow and in the flow of the universe. She is a mirror, a reflection of pure light and love. She is the creator. She is the source of life. She is the goddess. Respect her, love her, honor her, because you need her. Her love will save your soul. Her light will save the world. 


Some thoughts on the heart…

The heart wants what it wants and in the end it usually gets what it needs too. Following my heart is really the only way I can function and navigate life. But letting your heart lead the way can feel dangerous at times. I’m like “hey where are you taking me?” But I usually go anyway, even if it seems crazy. Throughout our lives it is hard to trust. It gets harder, then it gets easier, then something bad happens and it gets harder again. It’s not just about trusting people. It’s about trusting life, having faith that you are on the right track. The heart seeks experience readily as if there is only goodness in store for us but life doesn’t only serve up goodness. Life serves up everything. You may say the heart is naive, but it only seems that way because the heart knows all life experience whether joyous or painful is worth every minute. There is goodness in the darkness.

Your heart may lead you into a black hole and you curse it thinking “I should have followed logic. I knew I couldn’t trust my heart.” But wherever it takes you is where you need to go. So our heart gets hurt pretty quickly in life as it learns goodness can actually be hard to come by. Then of course comes the building of walls. Major construction takes place around the heart until one day we realize we are separated from everything in our lives.

In protecting your heart you cut yourself off from the main source of life and vitality. And you’re a fool to think you can protect your heart from pain anyway. It is inevitable so don’t waste your time trying. Don’t waste your time building walls to protect from foreign invaders. Spend your time trying to open your heart, listen to it and let it guide you on your path cause it will surely take you where you are supposed to go and it will bring you to those souls along the way that you require for growth. It will deliver the people you have been waiting for. When you meet someone for the first time and you think “hey I know you.”

Along the way we live in fear that our heart will get neither what it truly wants nor what it actually needs. So we hopelessly neglect it all together at times. To further complicate things what our hearts want and what they need may seem to contradict each other. But the truth is that despite those confusing layers, whatever the heart wants is exactly what it needs. Even if it doesn’t make sense at the time. Wanting is the language of the heart. The heart speaks through desire, through longing, through passion, through music, through love. Listen to what your heart is telling you it wants cause there is a reason. Turn your back on it today and it will call again in the future but the ring will be louder. The heart will not be ignored. Try to trust where it’s telling you it wants to go. 

At its core the heart seeks connection and through that connection one may experience a sense of unity, harmony, gratitude, or bliss. We were born to connect, with people, with nature, with our environment, with our ideas. And it is when we feel this connection to something “other” that we feel truly alive. We all dream of that feeling when our heart sings because something has struck its chord. They say that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. We can’t be afraid to experience something because we fear losing it. If your heart is pointing to something chance are it is worth the risk for one reason or another. Experiences we have may never fit our great expectations but experience will always feed us. Especially heart driven experiences, they will feed our souls.  You’ll be closer to yourself, closer to the sun, closer to the moon and the stars. 

One of my favorite things in life are pink sunsets, they are magnetic and beautiful and remind me of my soul and its connection to this mystical planet. But they are fleeting. I could stare at a sunset for hours. I could stare at a sunset forever. But sunsets don’t last that long, they come and go quickly. Just because I only get to watch a sunset for 15 or 20 minutes doesn’t mean I would rather not have seen it at all. Seeing it, if only for just a moment, was worth all the feelings it gave me. I can’t hold onto it. Those are the best things in life. The heart has an appetite for the best things in life. It is your greatest tour guide. If you’re shutting it off you are missing out on what you came here for. 

Open your heart, feel your feelings, go get what you want, life is too short, the time is now.